Let’s start this off with good news. I don’t have Addison’s disease. The tests came back, see previous blog post “B R E A T H E” to get up to speed, and the only explanation they have for my adrenal levels being alarming is because my body is currently out of whack.
At this point, I’ll take it. AID, you’re currently winning; Hashimoto’s 384, Tae 1.
Unfortunately, that’s all the good news I have. Although, hearing that was a huge relief, that’s were the joy ended and frustration and searing anger began to come out to play. It was a rough day.
Let’s start with the appointment itself. It was scheduled for 9:15a, as I typically schedule all my appointments for early Wednesday mornings. It’s easier because I’m able to telecommute from work, and I usually sign on early, leave for the appointment and then come back and work until about 5 or 6p. On Wednesday’s I also spend the day at my (grand)parents house. Side note: My (grand)mom isn’t able to fully care for herself at the moment due to recent health scares/issues. So Wednesday’s are my days to be with her. The fam and I got together and we made a calendar to help split shifts and share duties. She’s the matriarch, it’s the least we can do.
I get to my appointment and sign in, and sit and wait to go back to hear my test results and figure out what steps. I brought my notebook with me, actually I carry it everywhere honestly, filled with questions about Hashimoto’s, testing and medications/supplements. I’ve also been documenting my weight loss, daily symptoms and supplement intake, I wanted to show him and see if anything I was doing was wrong or should be watching out for.
9:15 a.m. was my appointment time. But someone, any one, please tell me whyyyy I didn’t get called back until 10 a.m. Then sat in the room with the pulse ox monitor on my finger until 10:15 a.m. when the MA came in to take my blood pressure. Obviously it was high because I was so irritated, and it was only getting worse. Then the doctor didn’t come into the exam room until 10:25 a.m.
Not only did he not answer any of my questions with enough information to give me clarity, he also was trying to rush me. Mind you, my questions were pretty serious, such as:
“Do you think the burning sensation I have on my entire left side is related to this, or is it something different we should watch out for?”.
“If I don’t have Addison’s, why do you think my adrenals were so low and alarming? Am I doing something to cause that?”
“According to my lab results, my white blood cell count seems to be all over the place. Is that normal for this?”
Soooo…you know, I’m asking all the important questions. But the answers I received were basically telling me he doesn’t know and I need to go back to my PCP. In the meantime, here’s a referral to see the ENT surgeon, and I’ll draw more labs on you and see you next month.
What. The. Fiiiiat?!!!!
Remember, searing anger.
I asked him if he was going to help me figure this out right the eff now, and he said he wanted to draw another lab test for my full thyroid panel and we can discuss when I see him next month.
Let me tell you, the amount of pisstivity I was experiencing was high and there was no turning back. But i also remembered that Jesus saved me, and I needed to keep my mouth shut and be an agent of grace. Because, I think that was a sign from God telling me, that’s not where I need to be and soon he would lead me in the right direction.
So, I stat down, got my labs and walked out. Called my boyfriend immediately to vent, and then drove to my parents house to finish out my day.
I allowed my soul to be irritated for about 2 hours before I had to get my big girl pants on and figure out how to rectify this.
I started with recommendations I have been receiving from friends for specialists they’ve worked with. One in specific, was a functional medicine doctor aka naturopath. I’ve heard great things, and this doctor in specific has been helpful to a friend who is also working through Hashimoto’s, as well as other things.
So I called to make an appointment, and I learned a lot. First, Functional Medicine Doctor’s are great. They are innovative, they are working in cutting edge research and treatments for different conditions. They are empathetic to what you are feeling, as most of them have experienced it themselves in some way or another. They also provide more of a natural healing response as opposed to western medicine. But here’s what they don’t tell you, unless you call to schedule an appointment as a new patient. They are not connected to insurances, so they are a “Fee for Service”. Meaning, it is all out of pocket costs. Some office fee’s vary, but I called about 4 different offices yesterday. Each told me their initial visits were about $400-600, follow up visits were $150-$300, just to initially look at my medical history and current diagnosis is about $150, and obviously medications and tests thereafter would be additional fees.
What the WWHAATT?? I was just blown away and didn’t expect it. Also a lot to take in when you’re already emotional from having to accept and start to make changes to life because of this disease and feeling completely dismissed by the person who was technically “hired” to help you figure it out.
Do your research. Seriously. If you’re living with Hashimoto’s and can afford that kind of care, and feel as though your current medical team isn’t working for you or with you. Research all options and go with what your gut tells you. You’ll eventually find the answer. Because, I think I did. After getting a grip on reality, I was able to find a highly recommended doctor through the Az Endocrinology Center. Sucks that I can’t get in until the end of October, but at this point, that’s much better than going back to Dr. E. Who, by the way, has been fired from my medical team, I just don’t know if he’s aware or not. Best believe he will be as I blow up the internet with my reviews of his practice. Why I didn’t check Dr. E’s reviews in the first place, I’m not sure. But I wish I had because they’re atrocious.
I also checked the reviews of the ENT surgeon he referred me to, he too, is highly recommended. So fingers crossed when I go to him this coming Monday for my consult, he helps ya girl out and isn’t a complete dick.
I share all of this for a few reasons:
1. The blog is about me and my journey, so there’s that.
2. Sharing is caring. I never want anyone to experience medical care like I did, especially when you are newly diagnosed with fear, anxiety and a million and one unanswered questions. Trust me, I get it.
3. Remember, it’s heavy. It’s all very heavy. But have faith, because it will get lighter. The devil is a liar and God will serve you truth and comfort.
4. Advocate for yourself. If you know you’re not getting the right care, or not feeling right about yourself. Advocate. Speak up. Research. And do what’s best for you by getting the right help that is best for you. Make them listen. Make them help you. Because we deserve relief, we all do. And they’re the qualified professional that has been chosen to help you get it.
If you’re reading this and have felt something similar, keep your head up. The lighter days are coming. Put the heavy stuff down, and push through what’s left so the lighter days will come sooner rather than later.
Don’t let one crap doctor steer you from getting the answers and help you need.
Don’t let the devil (or anxiety or depression) lie to you and say it’s all in your head. Because IT’S NOT! I promise, it’s not. We all feel it too.
Today, I want you to tell your mountain about God. Take your supplements, grab your CBD lotion, and get your heating pad. Once you crawl in bed and get comfy, start your research and let that weight fall off. Let that weight fall of because it’s heavy and you don’t need to carry that. Sometimes finding the right medical doctor/team will take a few failed appointments. But you will get there. Don’t stop advocating for yourself. Don’t stop speaking up. Allow yourself those couple minutes or hours to be irritated to your core, and then sack up and look for your next option. It may just be better than the first.
Until you find the relief and the medical team to treat this, there are going to be some mountains you will have to climb, some lies you will be tricked into believing, and some some jerks you’ll have to fire. Perhaps my love, it’s not you per se. But actually it is, and the autoimmune disease that’s taking over.
Perhaps It's Not You 